Planning for Mistakes
Raising a human being is tricky business. Maybe you find it as easy as spreading melted butter on hot bread. For me, there have been those moments, but there have been moments when it’s like spreading frozen butter on fresh bread and try as I might, it ends up in a mess.
Like all mums, I did/do the best I can. I get some things right, others not so much. Like all mums, everything I did/do, including my missteps, come from a place of Love.
Being a parent is the roughest gig going. We so want to get it right. To be a “Good Parent”. I used to tell people that parenting is a job that we start and then 21 years later get to see how we did. After the good, the bad and the ugly of life, are they a responsible, kind, fun, generous, wise human being? Is that when I would know if I was a ‘good mum’?
When my kids were just babies I started planning for their 21st. Not because I was wishing the years away. Just the opposite.
Nineteen years ago, when my eldest was born, I started a journal to record significant moments in her life. Family members who visited from overseas would write their impressions of her at that age and every adult who attended birthday parties would write a little message. Throughout the years, when things got messy, I would write as well with the hope that one day my adult child would read it and understand.
I see it as a Time Capsule that I will gift to my kids on their 21st.
It has become so much more than that. Today 3 of 4 grand-parents have passed away. But they will be at the 21st. Their handwritten words on the pages of the journal allow them to be present in my children’s lives a way I could have never foreseen.
I’m not 100% sure it’s a good idea, but I’m leaning on a yes. I’ll get my answer when my daughter turns 21.
